Fighting With Pirates

Many years ago, I had a small cyst removed, leaving a 1-inch scar on my upper arm. I thought the scar was ugly, but my son Cubby (about 11 years old at the time) said, “Mom, just tell everyone you were in a knife fight with a band of pirates!” I loved Cubby’s image of me as one tough broad, strong enough to survive a fight against a band of rollicking pirates, and I loved his instinct to take something ugly and look at it in a positive light.

Now I have more scars. And bigger. Most recently, a big ol’ scar at my right hip... and an ugly 9" scar decorating my left knee. Maybe it’s just me embracing my inner pirate, but I love my new scars. Oh, there's no denying they are ugly. But what they represent!

That hideous scar on my knee is a dividing line between before and after. Before, when I couldn’t walk without support of crutches and had to use a wheelchair to go longer distances. Before, when every single step, even with crutches, was excruciating. Before, when just getting dressed took a Herculean effort. When the chronic pain stopped me from doing things I love like traveling, visiting with friends, cooking, going to the theater, writing musicals ... and writing this blog. Before, when the chronic pain stopped me from being me.

That was my recent "before." Since the middle of 2017, everything of importance to me was put on hold while pain ruled my every day.

And now, my After: After two joint replacements with three surgeries over four months. After an attack, not by pirates, but by the brilliance of my surgeon wielding the skills of modern medicine. After the caring support of the best darn physical therapist on the planet. After my own hard work and determination: my AFTER: I can walk without any aid. The wheelchair and the walker and the canes and crutches have been abandoned. I am cooking and cleaning and going out and seeing theater and traveling, and best of all, I am writing again. I am me.

Last week was the one-year anniversary of my hip replacement, and I celebrated by taking a long walk through Muir Woods on the northern coast of California; a walk I wouldn’t have been able to do a year ago. There with some of the world’s oldest living things, I rejoiced that I have my life back.

I thank you for being patient with me while I took time to heal, and for welcoming my blog back into your inbox. I have some great articles planned for the weeks ahead: celebrating some of my favorite plays and musicals (yes, plays too), what inspired me in Moss Hart’s autobiography, a new series of articles about how to write a musical, as well as more insight into Eric’s and my writing process and behind-the-scenes glimpses into the making of our shows. What topics would you like me to write about? Let me know in the comments online or email me at Margaret@ByMargaretRose.com.

Most of all, I hope you will follow Cubby’s advice, and look on your own scars, wrinkles, and grey hairs as a symbol of your life experience. Every day when I see this ugly scar on my knee I am reminded of a renewal of life, of making positive changes and making choices to live life to the fullest.

Life is gonna include a bunch of scars. Wear each of them as a badge of honor. Proclaim to the world that you have fought the pirates and you have won!